Mom and Dad: Remotely Happy

I could hear accusation and panic in Mom’s voice when she called with, “Where’s that thing that makes your Dad so happy? It was here when you came to visit.”
I was at a loss. I couldn’t recall taking anything with me when I left earlier that day. That thing that makes Dad so happy?
“Could you be a little more specific?” I asked.
“It makes pictures,” she said.
I rubbed my hand over my nose and mouth, closed my eyes, and ventured a guess, “The digital picture frame on the wall?”
“No! The pictures move.”
The pictures change from one to another on the digital picture frame, so I was still confused.
“It makes the pictures move,” she nearly whined.
I could only say, “Um…”
Mom gave another clue with, “It makes them move and talk!”
“You lost the TV?” I asked, incredulously.
“NO!” Mom, by now, was exasperated. “The thing that makes your Dad so happy that makes pictures move and talk. That thing!” She declared this as if by now it should have been crystal clear what she was talking about and I was no help what-so-ever. I could picture her stomping and pointing at the ground emphatically.
“Um… the remote? Are you looking for the remote?”
“YES!” There was an air of finally in that ‘yes’ that felt like winning a game of charades against a team of deaf, signing mimes.
“Well, Mom, the last time I saw the remote, it was on the back of the couch next to your phone. Did you look there?” I asked.
“Yes,” she insisted. “I have looked everywhere! It’s nowhere to be found!”
“Ok, Mom. Let’s start over. Please check the back of the couch again. The last time I saw the remote it was on the back of the couch next to your phone. Please look there now.”
Mom, breathing heavy, suddenly shrieked in my ear, “NOW I CAN’T FIND MY PHONE, EITHER!”

I dropped my head, smacked my forehead, scrubbed my face, swallowed peels of laughter, and managed to choke out, “Let’s deal with finding one thing at a time, ok?”

I walked her through places to look, behind couch and chair cushions, behind the couch on the piano, inside the closets, cupboards and refrigerator. I listened to her breathe and grunt and mutter to herself until she said, “I need to set the phone down. I can’t look with one hand.”
(Oh, God, no. Don’t set down the phone and forget it!) “Mom, hey, why don’t you hang up and search everywhere again. Behind cushions, in the bathroom, in the fridge, under the pillows – look everywhere. Then call me back. Call me if you find it or if you don’t, ok?”
About 10 minutes later, Mom called to report that she had found the remote for the TV sitting on the back of Dad’s chair.
Now that thing was working. It was making pictures move and talk and Dad was happy again.

I couldn’t help myself. I had to ask, “So, did you find your phone?”

Tags: Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's care, caregiver, caring for elderly parents, elder care, senior care