Before going to visit Mom and Dad today, I went out into the gardens and cut some fresh flowers. I cut some big purple and yellow irises with open flowers and buds along the stems. I cut some small irises with little purple flowers and a bud on each stem. I also cut the only poppy flowering in the garden to add to the bouquet. I brought them into the house, carefully wrapped the stems in wet paper towels and foil, then plopped them into a wide mouth canning jar. Once I’d figured a way to transport them in the car without them tipping over and breaking flowers, I was on my way.
When I arrived at the facility, Mom and Dad were busy playing Bingo. I had a few other errands I could run while I was in town, so I took the flowers to their room and left them outside of their door. They always keep their room locked, but I figured they’d find the flowers when they returned to their room, if they got done before I returned.
On my way out of the building, one of the residents stopped me and asked for help. She wasn’t sure what she needed and I couldn’t begin to guess, but, I walked with her to her room. We spent a few minutes in her room while she tried to remember why she’d felt compelled to return to her room, then walked back to the hub and reclaimed her favorite seat. I sat with her until her daughter arrived for her visit.
I ran a few errands, then returned to find them still playing Bingo. I decided to take a walk down their hallway and bring the flowers back with me, but I could see from just a short distance into the hall that the flowers were not sitting outside their room. Hmm, well, perhaps they had returned to their room for a moment and already took them in?
When people started to file out of the dining room, I made my way in to find Mom and Dad helping with clean-up. I asked Mom, “Did either of you return to the room during Bingo?” Nope, they’d been there the whole time. Dad stopped only long enough to say, “Hello!” and give me a hug before making a frantic dash for the bathroom. Being as the woman raised me, I couldn’t lie when she asked me why I wondered about them returning to the room. So, I told her I’d brought them some flowers from our garden but they were not outside their door where I’d left them.
Mom needed the restroom before returning to their room. She bent down and looked under the Mens Room door and said that Dad must be in there – the light was on. She went into the Womens Room and another man came out of the Mens Room. I know there’s only room for one man in that restroom, so there was no point in asking if Dad had been in there. Then I heard Mom talking to someone sternly… Dad had gone into the Womens Room, without Mom’s guidance. I’m guessing the Mens Room was occupied and he didn’t have time to wait. I went in and stood near the door to prevent any surprises to any other women wanting to use the restroom.
While Mom used the toilet, Dad washed his hands – and talked to the guy in the mirror. I tried coaxing him out of the bathroom telling him his wife would be out soon. He washed his hands twice, just to have an excuse to stay and wait for Mom.
When we got back to their room I found the wide mouth jar I’d used to transport the flowers sitting on their counter top. Interesting…
Did someone take the flowers and leave the jar after which someone on staff thought the jar needed returned to their room? Did someone on staff see the flowers and think they were meant for the garbage, but for some reason the jar wasn’t? I took the jar to the desk and explained what I knew – what kinds of flowers, how many flowers, how I’d left them and what I found upon my return, and about finding the jar in their room on the counter top, with no flowers in sight. They said they’d look into it and see if they couldn’t find the flowers in someone else’s room.
Mom called this evening trying to understand what happened to the flowers? She’d tried to explain to the activities director but wasn’t sure if she’d gotten the details right. She hadn’t… I explained it again while she wrote it down.
I just have to wonder… who there is so terribly sad that they’d take someone else’s flowers? I do hope the flowers brighten their day!
Tags: Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's care, caregiver, caring for elderly parents, elder care, senior care
June 3, 2009 at 12:20 pm |
Now that is just plain weird! I could understand if the jar and flowers were missing or just the flowers–people with dementia don’t see it as stealing, they see something pretty and think “Oh lovely” and just take them. But to find the jar IN the room and the flowers gone???? Something’s wrong with this picture!!
June 3, 2009 at 4:22 pm |
I completely agree something’s wrong with this picture. It is possible that the young lady who empties resident trash and picks up recyclables thought the flowers were set outside the room as trash, but she saw me carrying them to the room. I saw her waiting for her ride at the end of her shift – she didn’t have any flowers on her person. I didn’t go check her cart after the flowers were discovered to be missing, for which hindsight gives me a little kick in the shin.
A resident likely took the flowers – about 15% of them have some form of dementia. If that is the case, I’d guess the trash pick-up lady found the empty jar and put it in their room when she went in to get their trash… she could even have thought that Mom and Dad already got the flowers and forgot the jar.
It is kind of heartwarming to think that someone is getting enjoyment out of those flowers.
Mom called last night to get the details right so she could tell the activities director, then called back to report what she’d told the activities director – which was somewhat altered in the details… This morning she called to have me go over the details again so she could tell the people at the desk. I missed her call, so she read to me what she had written down wanting me to call her back to confirm the details. When I did get her called back, she’d once again confused some of the details.
Well, I gave a full accounting of the facts when I reported the missing flowers to the desk attendant. There were a couple other people there when I reported it, so at least somewhere in there the details are floating about.
We may never know what happened to the flowers.
June 16, 2009 at 9:56 am |
Mystery solved!
I’m still kicking myself for not checking that cart. It was, afterall, sitting right next to the main hub receptionist desk. One look into the trash bag hanging on the side would have found the flowers.
The young lady who does the trash and recycling pick up from resident rooms has Down Syndrome – if there is such a thing as a mild case, hers is it. She really is very good with the residents and seems to love the work she does for them.
A few days after the incident, she went to Mom and told how she had thrown out the flowers. She was very sorry and didn’t know they were not trash, since they were sitting on the floor. The jar, however, didn’t seem to be trash, so she made sure they got that back.
Mom originally said she’d just take my word for it that the flowers were pretty. She was less convinced when even the trash lady thought they were trash. She no longer wants to take my word for them being pretty flowers, but assures me she still enjoys the hanging planter we made for her on Mother’s Day.
June 17, 2009 at 9:30 am |
Oh, poor lady. I’m sure she meant no harm.
Your Mom is too funny, thinking the flowers weren’t pretty and that’s why they were thrown away! Ha!