Comments on: Mom and Dad: Full Circle http://nauri.wordpress.com/2009/06/02/mom-and-dad-full-circle/ Just another day in the life of Nauri Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:52:35 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: nauri http://nauri.wordpress.com/2009/06/02/mom-and-dad-full-circle/#comment-415 nauri Wed, 03 Jun 2009 01:26:02 +0000 http://nauri.wordpress.com/?p=602#comment-415 She is definitely experiencing school days syndrome! Great to find it has a term, even. I think the biggest hurdle in Mom's social life is Dad. He can't be away from her and makes conversation difficult. Mom is constantly trying to correct his behavior or explain something to him. It is frustrating to people with lots of patience and infuriating for those with little patience. And, now that Mom is getting a little testy herself, she's sometimes short with people who try to help her with Dad by barking orders at him. I can't say as I ever remember her telling someone, "I'll handle my child, you stay out of it." I have heard her tell other people, "I can handle Bill. You stay out of it." I'm pretty sure Helen heard Mom clear enough in this case - she repeated it verbatim to Anne. It reminds me of that childish game kids play when they are refusing to speak to someone and insist on some poor sap of a middleman to relay everything said. "I'm not speaking to him so you tell him I said..." Or that other one where they mock and mimic everything someone else says or does. Mom has never really experienced these kinds of social politics, and no longer has the capacity to overlook the slights. But, I can tell it is hurting her when she says she doesn't even feel comfortable dining with them anymore. The good news is that I heard nothing about it today during our visit. I mentioned seeing Helen in the hallway and she saw me talking to Anne - neither of these triggered a recalling of the previous day's events. She is definitely experiencing school days syndrome! Great to find it has a term, even. I think the biggest hurdle in Mom’s social life is Dad. He can’t be away from her and makes conversation difficult. Mom is constantly trying to correct his behavior or explain something to him. It is frustrating to people with lots of patience and infuriating for those with little patience. And, now that Mom is getting a little testy herself, she’s sometimes short with people who try to help her with Dad by barking orders at him. I can’t say as I ever remember her telling someone, “I’ll handle my child, you stay out of it.” I have heard her tell other people, “I can handle Bill. You stay out of it.”
I’m pretty sure Helen heard Mom clear enough in this case – she repeated it verbatim to Anne. It reminds me of that childish game kids play when they are refusing to speak to someone and insist on some poor sap of a middleman to relay everything said. “I’m not speaking to him so you tell him I said…” Or that other one where they mock and mimic everything someone else says or does.
Mom has never really experienced these kinds of social politics, and no longer has the capacity to overlook the slights. But, I can tell it is hurting her when she says she doesn’t even feel comfortable dining with them anymore.

The good news is that I heard nothing about it today during our visit. I mentioned seeing Helen in the hallway and she saw me talking to Anne – neither of these triggered a recalling of the previous day’s events.

]]> By: seniorsafari http://nauri.wordpress.com/2009/06/02/mom-and-dad-full-circle/#comment-411 seniorsafari Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:47:25 +0000 http://nauri.wordpress.com/?p=602#comment-411 Poor Mom! Sounds like she's going through 'school days' syndrome. She is probably feeling lonely and sad about this. Maybe, when you visit, you can get the 3 of them together for an activity or chat session. If that doesn't work, maybe get her to know a few other residents she might hit it off with. Sometimes, residents can be rude without even realizing it. It's possible Helen didn't hear Mom very well, then turned to Anne. Some voices are easier to hear than others. A low-toned voice is easier to hear than a higher pitched one. Poor Mom! Sounds like she’s going through ’school days’ syndrome. She is probably feeling lonely and sad about this. Maybe, when you visit, you can get the 3 of them together for an activity or chat session. If that doesn’t work, maybe get her to know a few other residents she might hit it off with.
Sometimes, residents can be rude without even realizing it. It’s possible Helen didn’t hear Mom very well, then turned to Anne. Some voices are easier to hear than others. A low-toned voice is easier to hear than a higher pitched one.

]]> By: Davis http://nauri.wordpress.com/2009/06/02/mom-and-dad-full-circle/#comment-409 Davis Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:31:37 +0000 http://nauri.wordpress.com/?p=602#comment-409 thanks for sharing a story that's hard to tell, but one that can make others more understanding thanks for sharing a story that’s hard to tell, but one that can make others more understanding

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